Change – that one event with which almost every living being has a love hate relationship with since the beginning of time. We all want to want something new but the idea of leaving familiarity starts to sprout doubts in our mind on whether we really want something “new”.

2018 bought a whole bag of changes in my life. New job, new city, new people. It surprised me that as much as I desperately needed a job when this fantastic opportunity crossed my path I started to worry. The closer we got to signing the paper work, the more I started to panic. I would find myself up late night trying to google the new company, the city. I even went to the extent of googling how to survive in the new city which happens to be in my own country! Fortunately with things moving fast and a very wise friend knocking sense into me I accepted the offer and the paper work was done. Now I knew at the back of my mind that I will be starting a new chapter in my life whether I was ready or not. Between getting all the paperwork in place and having exhausted myself from googling how to survive and things to do in the new city I finally gave in. Packed up my flat and one fine morning I was in the city that would be my new home. Before leaving I did make a promise to myself to see this as an adventure, to treat it as an OE. Just out of school I had traveled across the globe and not just survived but thrived. Older and wiser I ought to ease in just fine.

Bright eyed and with a little voice in my head saying you will be fine I managed to breeze past my first few days. I will admit that at times the smallest of things going wrong would have all the – I told you this is not a good idea alarm bells ringing in my head. With a bit of deep breathing and quite a few reality kicks these little bumps soon did not matter. Busy with work during the day and then flat hunting during weekends left me too exhausted to question the big move. My father would often tell me that sometimes you just need to do what is required and let life take its course – go with the flow. Truly being his daughter I soon found myself doing exactly as he said. Chugging away on my checklist I would have a little goal every day and in a month’s time I was happily chilling in my flat.

No doubt there were days when I found myself going down a familiar path of dark thoughts. Not being able to speak the local language, trying to find a flat that would be a replacement of my home in Bangalore or trying to find my ever so familiar surroundings would give me a panic attacks. I would question myself if the decision to move was the right one. Demons from 2016 would start to rise. BUT, a wiser an older Dee, I knew how to keep these demons at bay.

With this move I came to realise that more than the new it is our past that causes pain and confusion during any change. We are a product of our experiences and choices. Good or bad they mold us and at times we have an unconscious bias and fear that comes roaring out when we step out of our comfort zone. The challenge is to calm the crazy monkey in our head. Support from family and friends is no doubt a must. Little nudges from my Samoan twin made me consciously make an effort to not let fear take a grip of my life.

Change is never easy and this move brought home two of life’s lessons – Firstly to succeed we must fight our own demons, that annoying little negative voice in our head that makes the slightest of challenge seem like a mountain to climb. As my Dad says, your eyes see what your mind wants to. In hindsight I would say it applies to every little situation. Secondly, a journey of change may be difficult and fraught with challenges but the universe assigns a challenge only after assessing your spirit to survive and fight the odds.

Keep changing for change is the only constant! 😉