The Nirbhaya case took place in December 2012. Nirbhaya, a 23 year old was brutally raped, tortured and left to die a painful death because a group of men could not keep it in their pants and an evening of fun for them involved raping a woman and shoving a rod in her private parts. We saw protests, slogans, people marching on streets. The nation was appalled and a vast majority could not comprehend how could one human being do this to another human being. There were of course a few geniuses who suggested that rape is deserved if a woman wears certain type of clothes or carries herself with a little too much arrogance. After all, men are confident, women are arrogant isn’t it? There were talks about how a woman is a flower to be protected by her father, brother and husband. In summary these geniuses were suggesting that we should simply lock up our women to avoid rape. Anyways the case was fast tracked, laws were amended and guilty were put behind bars. This was a win for humanity but did this really change anything? Did we see a decline in rapes?

Eight years later not much has changed. April 2018 and the nation is again asking for justice for another “India’s Daughter”. Asifa, an eight year old girl was drugged, raped, tortured and killed. These rapists are not the poor and deprived. They are in fact educated and have a far better financial status than the little girl. If rape was not enough political motives and a religious angle were added to this heinous crime. People were pitching one rape story against another. Moronic statements like how a rape in Assam was not covered because it will not gather TRP to statements that little Asifa was raped to move people out of the area baffle me. Is it somehow a competition about whose rape was worse and can gather more TRP? Instead of advancing and moving towards a civilized society have we taken the road of becoming barbarians – rape and murder to conquer land? It is 2018. I thought we are well past raping, looting and murdering to conquer.

The recent public uproar led to changes in the present rape law under the criminal law including IPC, Criminal Procedure Code (CrPc), Evidence Act and POCSO. Stringent punishment such as life imprisonment for gang rapes, death sentences, restriction on bail, national database of offenders and speedy investigations are some of the changes introduced. These are good measures and I do believe will to an extent deter rapists. Having said that a law is only as good as its implementation and adoption. Current India still plagued with corruption faces a mammoth challenge when it comes to governance. A conservative prejudiced mentality around rape only makes it more difficult to put a stop to this barbaric atrocity. To get a glimpse of the problem do watch this short documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKRF7Bp4BnI.

Adults barely “survive” rape. My heart aches and my soul cries when I read about little ones being subjected to this cruelty. If the victim dies I pray for peace in their afterlife but should she survive, the torment is lifelong. Not only are you ostracized by society and the very agencies meant to support you, your own mind becomes your worst enemy. You question yourself why? You start to wonder it was anything you did? You hate everything about you. With the rapist’s face haunting you day and night every living moment becomes hell. You live the ordeal over and over. Voices scream in your head. As if that was not enough people’s tongues around you start to wag. Even if you want to forget and move on society does not really let you have that luxury unless you move half way across the country. There is no “normal”.

IT parks, technological advances and economic growth carry no meaning if the birth of a girl means probability of one more rape. If in 2018 a little girl is wishing she was a boy do you really think we have progressed? If in 2018 every time a girl child is conceived there are voices whispering female infanticide and sexual abuse have we really progressed? In 2018 do you believe that locking your little princess away from the world is the best way to protect her?

While India is a land of diversity, spirituality and a home to some of the most talented, people in the world, it is high time we address this rape culture. It is about time we stopped attaching family’s honour to a vagina. About time we teach our boys that a woman is not a “commodity”. A woman is not something, she is someone. About time we become tolerant to people’s choices irrespective of their gender. About time instead of shaming the victim we support them. More than anything else it is time we wake up to politicians and anti social elements dividing us on caste and religion. Crime cannot be justified in the name of religion and caste. If there is a religion that promotes rape and abuse of the weak maybe we should question if that that school of thought would indeed be endorsed by a God. For me personally it is difficult to digest that any God would direct its people to commit atrocities in his name.

“India’s Daughter” is a phrase that should ideally invoke pride but in today’s India it invokes fear. It is every parent’s worst nightmare. For this to change we must not only change how we think but be catalysts of change. Open your minds. Be more humane. Change any thinking that kills humanity. Question your political leaders. Be outraged when you see humanity dying or the government machinery failing to protect your fellow citizens. Shame the perpetrator and not the victim. It is difficult but do ask yourself if you are a hypocrite? Did you light a candle for Nirbhaya but turn a blind eye to another abuse?

Patriarchal and Matriarchal are words created by us. Men and women are God’s creation. It is not a case of either or – Men and Women are meant to coexist. If and only if we gave it a chance the world would be a much better place.